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The Comparison Game

Updated: May 3, 2021

Avoid comparing yourself to others and coach your way to self-love.

The topic of comparing oneself to others is a topic that lies very close to my heart, as this has been a constant theme in my life that I have had to work hard to manage. Over the past two years, I have been working on establishing myself as a coach in the coaching space. Questions such as, who I am as a coach and what makes me different seemed to plummet me back into the space of comparison. Why? Well, this was the perfect opportunity for my mind to run wild and look at ways to sabotage what I had achieved. Rather I would look at what I had not achieved and where I “should” be. When I looked at certain people around me, I allowed myself to get caught up in their journey and I swayed from my mission.

The thing about comparing yourself to others is that you step off of your own path and into someone else’s direction. Then, we get even more confused, emotional and anxious which is completely expected because we are walking further away from our vision. I agree that it is challenging and often painful to trust the process and to allow yourself to stay on your journey, but I am here to offer you a tip that can make trusting the process not only a bearable endeavor but rather an exciting process!

Swami Sarvagatananda talks about surrendering and he highlights that the ego is all about ‘knowing everything,’ where as surrendering is about ‘I do not know, I want to know.’ Allowing yourself to surrender opens you up to a paradigm of choices as you are not limiting yourself. You are allowing yourself to remain open to what opportunities come your way, which are often in line with your mission!

Believe it or not, you are a remarkable human being that has a purpose and if you have not discovered it yet, then that is wonderful; I encourage you to explore and search but remember to stay true to what makes you happy and what inspires you. If someone has to motivate you to do something, then that is not your vision; it is someone else’s that you have collected along the way. Take this opportunity to catch yourself in the comparison game and notice that you are doing it and then pause and try the following…

IMPORTANT NOTE: Determine your values and start living a life that is aligned with what you love – Doctor John Demartini –

Technique: Affirmations/ Intentions

As one of my constant inspirations, Louise Hay offers one of the simplest yet challenging techniques that can be done by everyone. Many individuals may find this technique bizarre and utterly ridiculous. Well then, I challenge you even more to try it!

Every morning when you get out of bed, go straight to your mirror, look at yourself and say, “I love you.” You may not believe this at first, but continue to do it and challenge yourself to do it every morning without fail. “I love you” is a beautiful start and you can continue to include more affirmations such as “I am successful in my career.” The reason this is so powerful is because you are beginning the process of self-love.

John Assaraf highlights that setting your affirmations in present tense and in the positive form is vital for intentions to be achieved. Why? Scientifically, when you set an intention or focus on an affirmation, the brain automatically see’s this as a risk and wants to protect you by holding you back. So when you say to yourself “I love you” and you start thinking “no I don’t, what am I even saying?” this is your safety net keeping you safe and holding you in the space of the known. So how do we release ourselves? focus on saying these phrases in a relaxed state by focusing on your relaxed breath – in and out. From here your brain feels calm and you move from the flight, fight or freeze of the sympathetic nervous system to the relaxed response of the parasympathetic system. Finally visualise yourself achieving this phrase and close your eyes for a moment. Bask in the achievement because this is the key! Why is this a vital step? because when your brain see’s it, it actually believes it is achieving it so you are getting your brain to work for you! Wayne Dyer emphasises the power of intention and the more you allow your mind to believe, the more you will achieve.


  1. Set your affirmation or intention in the present tense and positive form

  2. Allow yourself to breathe in and out in a relaxed way when reaffirming this phrase

  3. Finally focus on achieving this affirmation or intention. See yourself in your minds eye truly loving yourself, or achieving what you are focused on.

You are on your path fulfilling your mission. All you need is to be clear, focused and relaxed and that way, your mind is working with you and not against you. The game is complete and you are no longer playing snakes and ladders with yourself or monopolising yourself into depths of comparison because you can see that all you have ever needed to do is surrender and support yourself by making use of this brain hugging process.

IMPORTANT NOTE: A must read – Louise Hay – You Can Heal Your Life

For more tips on overcoming comparing yourself to others

  1. Arrange a private coaching session with me where we can focus your vision and create more inspiration for what you love!

  2. Rewire your subconscious mind and move away from negative thinking patterns by contacting me and arranging a few hypnotherapy sessions.

  3. Drop me a mail and I can send you more tips, which have been proven to work wonders!

I would love to hear what you think about this post in the comment bar below. Do you have any stories that you would like to share? What have been your experiences and do you like the tips I have given you? I look forward to hearing your beautiful thoughts and to learn more about you! Love and light <3 Jean

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